An introvert is a person who is more interested in one’s own mental world. He prefers a world that is calm and more peaceful rather, than a world that is loud and full of distractions and stimulus. An introvert feels drained of energy after social interactions and regain energy while they are alone and quiet. Introverts take pleasure in solitude. An introvert is quiet, he is not shy.
What is an introvert? Nature of an Introvert
An introvert prefers an environment which is not full of stimulus, we feel drained after socializing and recharge when alone. Every introvert is not the same, some only need a little amount of time to recharge while others need a fair bit of time alone.
The genetic make of an Introvert is different than that of an extrovert. That is what separates an introvert and an extrovert. They are both born different.
Introverts are also shaped by their environment, if they had be brought up in a kind understanding, caring environment they grow up to be confident individuals. But if their environment was harsh, unforgiving, tormenting they may become victims of anxiety and stress in their later life.
But this is not the final word. You can make improvements in your life and every area of life by working on them. Nothing is permanent nothing is written in stone.
Every Introvert has experiences being drained by social situations. Too many social interactions feels taxing and totally drains an introvert’s energy he draws in. They feel fatigued and tired it’s as if their brains have been drained of all the energy.
All introverts share some characteristics:
- We avoid small talk and other small social interactions
- Introverts like to spend time alone
- We don’t like party
- Introverts prefer solo activities like reading or gaming over group activities like a picnic or a party.
- They are most comfortable in the company of their close group of friends.
Misunderstood Characteristics of Introverts
Introverts are not awkward in social situations: social awkwardness and introversion are not one, they are completely different from each other. An introvert is not awkward in social situations. On the contrary we can be quite confident in all kinds of social situations, it’s just that we don’t want to be in social situation because it drains our energies.
Introverts are not arrogant: we are not rude or arrogant nor are we trying to be. But sometimes social situations drain us to the point where we are no longer appreciative of small talk. We need sometime alone so that we can replenish our energy reserves. Once we get our break we are back to our charming selves.
We are not antisocial: Our lack of willingness to engage in small talk is often misunderstood as a sign that we don’t like people, which cannot be further from the truth. We do like people it is the small meaning less talk about the weather that we despise. What we prefer is meaningful talk which help us connect to people
Introverts don’t always like to be alone: contrary to the popular belief we don’t like being alone all the time. We usually have something going on in our minds. This may be a puzzle that we are solving or may be just day dreaming, we like to day dream a lot. However we can get very lonely if there is no one around to share our insights with.
Introverts don’t have fun: Just because we are not at every party doesn’t mean we don’t have fun. We have plenty of fun. Just that our idea of fun is a little different from the extroverts. We prefer to lounge at home or comfy café instead of a loud party.
Inside an Introverts Brain
Being an Introvert is not just a personality trait. But there is a physical difference between the brains of an introvert and an extrovert.
We all have a reward center in our brains which is stimulated by the hormone called dopamine. Dopamine is the chemical responsible for the feeling of pleasure and happiness that we get. Our brain releases dopamine whenever we do something that gives us pleasure.
It may be reading your favorite book or having that great cup of coffee or going to party, dopamine triggers may be different for different people. While extroverts may get dopamine trigger from going to a party an introvert might get dopamine trigger from watching movie at home.
The amount of dopamine that the brain generates is same for everyone but how a person responds to it entirely different. While extroverts need more dopamine introverts need only a little.
That is the reason why introverts are over stimulated by environments where there is lot of external stimulus but extroverts are perfectly comfortable.
No one is one hundred percent Introvert
Introverts and extroverts lie on a spectrum, on one end lie the introverts on the other end the extroverts. We introverts are more on the introverted side of the spectrum. Someone who lie bang on the center of the spectrum is called an Ambivert.
No one is a complete introvert or extrovert. Such an extreme personality doesn’t exist.
Being an Introvert is Special
The world around us is loud but we prefer quiet. Everyone is in a hurry while we like to take it slow. The world speaks from the tip of their tongue we speak after thinking it through.
The world may seem like a difficult place for us introverts. But every cloud has a silver lining, we too have a unique place in this world.
The gifts that we bring to the world benefit everyone around us.
The world needs deep thinkers. To introspect, to find solutions to the problems that cannot be solved by superficial thinking.
We introverts give society deep meaningful relations. We make the bonds of society stronger.
As introverts bring our unique perspective, a fresh look at things in our own way.
Introverts bring their wisdom to the world. That is full of incomplete thoughts.
Signs you are an Introvert
You need your own time: You like to socialize but you also need time of your own. Time when you are alone and away from the eyes of people. Introverts feel energized and refreshed by the time they spend alone.
You don’t like crowds: Being in a crowded place with lots of people to interact with drains you. You prefer more intimate settings, may be a few close friends. If that is your comfort zone you feel most relaxed in this environment. You may be an introvert.
Socializing drains you: You feel drained when you are socializing and meet a lot of people. While interacting with a room full of people, you feel sapped of energy very fast. Only some lone time can recharge you. This is one trait that all introverts experience to some degree.
Down time is energizing: For others down time may seem like a waste but not for us introverts. Our downtimes are the best times, this is the time we spend with ourselves with our books, magazines, games, or favorite shows.
You don’t like working in groups: Introverts rarely like working in groups. You do your best work while working alone or you are most productive while working alone.
Group activities in small doses: You may sometimes go out with large groups of people but you do that for a little while and once in a while. You cannot do this every day. Once you have been out with a group you need a few days or even weeks before you are ready to do this again. Introverts feel drained by group activities.
You like your close friends: You would hang out with your close group of friends rather than going out with a large group of people. The company of your close friends don’t drain your energies. You feel rather energized by spending time with them. If you can relate to this you are probably an introvert.
You like to write: This a major characteristic of an introvert. We often have trouble in articulating word at the right moment. The right words come to us but more slowly and often when the moment has passed in a conversation.
But where we excel is writing. When we write the words flow and we find the right words.
You have monsters and angels inside your head: not all introverts but most them have a vivid world inside their head. This is their own creation it’s vibrant and full of life and sometimes they like to spend hours in that world.
We like doing nothing: Sometimes we want to do nothing and it is completely fine by us introverts. While extroverts are always looking for something to do because they are bored by their own company. We introverts on the other hand are completely comfortable in our own company. There is no need for or any external stimulation to entertain us. We ourselves are enough.
Cancelled plans don’t upset you: You may have seen your friends or partner going crazy because their plan got cancelled. We introverts can never relate to this. It is completely ok with us if someone cancels a plan.
You don’t like discussions: You can speak when you need to and you can be good at putting your point across. But you don’t like to participate in a discussion. As an introvert you would rather sit and listen to a discussion then participating in it.
You are a day dreamer: You are lost in your own world of thoughts. Sometimes you zone out mid conversation with someone. This is because introverts have an inner world which is as interesting as the world outside.
You are polite: we introverts are very polite people. Society sometimes takes us as a meek but we are not meek we are just polite. Because we understand the feeling of others. We can detect the emotional state the person is in. if a person is in high energy we try to match that. If person is feeling low of sad we can sense that and adjust according to the situation. We don’t push ourselves on people. This is one of primary traits of an introvert.
You don’t like the limelight: It’s not that you don’t like the limelight, but you don’t actively seek to be in the lime light. You might delegate speaking to a large crowd not because you can’t but just because you don’t want to be in the spotlight. However there are exception to this as we many great leaders like Nelson Mandela and Gandhi were introverts.
You are a great listener: Introverts are good at listening. It’s not the simple superficial kind of listening, it’s listening to understand deeply and internalize what is being said. We introverts carefully think the response we give in a conversation and we love it when others do the same.
You excel at abstract thinking: As an introvert you have great liking for abstract thoughts and abstract thinking. And you are better at it then anyone else. You are also good at paying attention to details but you can also see the big picture.
Creativity comes naturally: Most of the introverts are creative people. They are great at creating something out of nothing. Extremely creative writers like J.K. Rowling or pop singer like Christina Aguilera are introverts.
Words are tough: You have a hard time putting words to your thoughts. The right words come to you after the conversation is over. Most of the introverts struggle to some up with the right words instantly. This is a universal struggle of us introverts.
You are more mature then your age: Your friends rely on you for making decisions. You can see things from a different perspective, uncover things which no one is able to see. This makes you better than anyone else at making decisions. You seem to be more mature then anyone of your age and offer the wisdom that comes with the maturity to the people around you. This is one of the gifts of being an introvert.
You can judge people well: You are a good judge of character. You observe the people around you very keenly. We introverts pick up on everything, a fleeting smirk or a twitch of the eye nothing escapes our attention.
We try to find out the relation between the words and actions and check for any incongruity. Introverts notice the body language of a person. The way in which a person is standing, sitting, folding his legs or fiddling with his fingers we catch all these minute clues and try to see beyond what is being showed to us.
You prefer texting to calling: You would avoid calling someone if you can text. This is a clear sign that you may be an introvert. Writing comes naturally to introverts because you like to think things over. While this may pose a problem while speaking this makes for expressive writing.
You don’t initiate calls or text: It’s rarely the case that you initiate a phone call or a text message conversation. You don’t do it because you don’t feel the need. we can do it if there is need to. But mostly we introverts let other people reach out to us. This is one of the traits that makes you an introvert.
You seek meaning: you seek meaning in everything. You want conversations to be meaningful, relationships meaningful, you even prefer to visit places that have some meaning or history to them. If your search for meaning is innate you are probably an introvert.
You filter calls: You filter your phone calls even from your friends. Sometimes when you get a call you just don’t have the energy to pick up the call and talk. You let it go to voice mail and later when you are mentally prepared to talk you call back. This could be a sure sign that you are an introvert.
Most introverts are so exhausted from being drawn out of their comfort zone every day that even a phone call feels like an intrusion in their private space. Hence they are reluctant to take a phone call every time it rings. Instead they wait and prepare themselves mentally for the conversation and only then they call the person back.
You feel incompatible in this world: In this world where quick talk is rewarded and being loud and chatty is appreciated. You always feel out of place. Sometimes you may have wondered if something is wrong with you and you wish you would be more social. This is a sure sign that you are an introvert.
Giving a talk is easier than socializing: Introverts have a reputation of being shy and being uncomfortable in front of large crowds. This is not entirely true.
Introverts are good speakers and leaders. We can give a talk to a thousand people that is easy. But then if we are asked to socialize and make small talk to those one thousand people that becomes an extremely difficult task for us.
Text needs to be perfect: When you receive a text form your relatives or friends, you wait until you can give proper attention to the text message. You read the text with all your attention and formulate a proper thoughtful response. This is sign of introversion.
Logical thinkers: Most introverts are very logical thinkers. when we are entrusted to make a decision We take all the pros and cons into consideration and then make a decision. We also take into account all the things that may go wrong and how to improve them in the worst case scenario. 40% of all CEO’s are introverted by nature. Hence introverts are good at taking very logical and well balanced decisions.
You are Sherlock Holmes: Sherlock Holmes is well-known for his powers of observation. We Introverts also have very highly developed powers of observation. Introverts are aware of our surroundings and even the slightest details doesn’t escape their eyes.
You are never bored: While others may need external help to keep them entertained. We introverts are very contended with ourselves. You have a world of your own in your head and the constant monolog that runs inside your head is enough to keep you entertained.
You are careful in opening up: you are extremely careful about opening up to people. It’s not because you cannot share your feelings with people. You are just selective about how you open up to. Because introverts need to be absolutely sure that the other person is not going to take advantage of their vulnerability.