With the start of video calling era on WhatsApp, Facebook, Google and every messenger app going in the video direction. I still find myself challenged with a simple phone call.
I never pick up a video and I rarely pick up a normal call.
Like all introverts I hate talking on the phone. And when I see a video call on the phone a just want to cover it under a pillow and sit on it.
Some people may think this behavior as weird and may be confused by this. But if you think hard enough I am sure you can think of at least one person who never answers the phone. I will explain to you why that is, and help you understand this phenomenon better.
The phone is like a missile someone somewhere presses a few buttons and it comes to us to blast our tranquility. I am an extreme introvert and I hate talking on the phone. A sudden phone call is something I cannot deal with. As an introvert I like my privacy and a phone call is an intrusion I hate to deal with.
A phone call wants our attention immediately. Doesn’t matter what we are doing. We might be engaged in some deep thought when the phone rings and it wants us to drop everything and answer the call. No, that never going to happen. And that is why I hate talking on the phone.
Most phone call starts with pleasantries, Hello, How are you, How have you been, how your cat has been. So on and so forth. This is torture for us introverts. One of the prime reasons we introverts the talking on the phone is the hollow pleasantries.
It’s hard enough for us to pick up the phone at the ring of a bell. And then we have to deal with the hollow pleasantries. And all the while we keep wondering when we can get to the real conversation and get off the phone.
The phone is too demanding for an introverts liking. It demands to be answered every time it rings. This is however not possible. We introverts guard our own time very zealously and we cannot allow anyone to intrude into that by the means of a phone call.
The people often can get upset by the fact that we never pick up the phone. But they must understand we cannot always talk when it’s convenient for them and we would call back when we have the time.
Too Fast Paced:
The conversation over the phone is too fast paced for my liking. The other person says something and you have to say something immediately. As an introvert I like to think before I speak. So any conversation takes time. So when I am rushed all I can come up with is an “Hmm”
This makes the other person think I am not interested in the conversation or I don’t want to talk to them, which is not always true.
We have Plans:
Most phone call consists of invitation to something because they think because I am home I am free and want to be rescued from my freedom by filling it up with a plan. I dread this and is one of the main reasons I avoid picking up the phone because I know the person at the other end has a plan.
Another reason I dislike talking on the phone is that you can’t see the other person. There is nothing you can look at. You can’t see the facial expressions of the other person. Is he smiling as he is saying something or is he frowning, there are no visual clues. For us introverts this makes it difficult to judge a response.
We introvert are visual people we like to see things. But during a phone call we have to rely on just the sounds to keep a conversation going. That makes things very difficult for us and makes us not want to pick the phone ever again.
Another time we introverts hate talking on the phone is because we are in recovery mode. After we have been around people sometime we need to get away from everyone. Socializing drains us, unlike extroverts who gets energized by socializing.
When we introverts are recovering we like to be with ourselves. We might be deep within ourselves and the focusing on the internal ideas in our head. When the phone rings it takes us out of the zone and we don’t like to talk on the phone when we are in that state.
Introverts have a really vivid, colorful and interesting world inside our head.
We might look calm on the outside but there is
When we are forced to have a phone conversation there are no visible clues to hold our attention. There is nothing that binds us to the conversation. And it very easy for us to slip back into our internal world. The other person on the phone doesn’t get appropriate attention, which becomes worse if they realize that we are not fully involved in the conversation. This is another reason why we introverts avoid talking on the phone.